I avoid random errand running or shopping outings with all the kids like the plague. I'm a homebody by nature, so I like to be home. Not to mention, the idea of dragging five kids out anywhere is NOT appealing. Usually our outings go something like this:
1. "YAY, we're going to xyz."
2. "What do you mean you can't find your shoes?"
3. "Everyone, let's help X find his/her missing shoe. It looks like this."
4. "Catherine, why are you standing there staring into space?, FIND THE SHOE!"
5. "Okay, just forget the shoe...wear a different pair."
6. "Yes Andrew, you CAN wear rain boots in June....JUST PUT THEM ON!"
7. "Everyone in the car."
8. "Matthew stop teasing your sister and let her in the car."
9. "MATTHEW, STOP TEASING YOUR SISTER AND LET HER IN THE CAR."
10. "MAAATTTHHHEEWWWWW!!!!!"
11. "Andrew stop screaming and buckle your seat."
12. "Andrew, stop screaming."
13. "Andrew, stop screaming or so help me God, I will not pull out of this driveway!"
14. "Yes, I will play song 12 on the cd as soon as I get out of the driveway."
15. "Andrew, you will have to wait until we get there to go potty."
16. "Andrew, we're almost there. YOU BETTER NOT PEE IN YOUR PANTS!!"
17. " I will not play song 12 for the 47th time on this trip."
18. "Ok, we're here. Now listen, you will STAY WITH. ME. You will not run around screaming. You will not act like animals. You will STAY WITH ME!
19. "Let's go to the potty. Boys (and Catherine) you stand RIGHT here and do NOT move."
20. "Yes, they're all mine."
(*And I left the triplets at home with the teenager.)21. "Andrew you do not have to potty again, you just went.
22. "Let's go to the potty. Boys you stand RIGHT here and do NOT move."
23. "Yes, I know what causes it."
(*And we like it very much, thank you.)
24. "Andrew I said, STAY WITH.ME!!"
25. "No, I don't run a daycare."
(*I just like gathering up the neighborhood kids and taking them out.)
26.
*I wish people didn't stare at me like I'm the Drugger Family.
27. "Andrew, I am not taking you to the bathroom again."
28. "Ok, we're all done. Get in the car."
29. Repeat 8-17 (although the child doing the teasing could change and most likely will)
30. "Ok, we're home."
31. "Alexander, stop teasing your sister and let her out of the car."
32. "Alexander, stop teasing your sister and let her out of the car."
33. "ALLLEEXXXAANNNNDEERRRR!"
34. "Everybody in the house. Mommy needs a nap
(*or a glass of wine)."*Words in italics may or may not be things I have actually said, depending on my level of frustration.So as you can see, going anywhere is not very appealing to me. Yes, I'm sure I could handle it better, but hey, that's who we are. I'm not one of the calm, peaceful, serene moms you might be imagining (I know, I know...so hard to believe).But I'm discovering, if I don't go anywhere, this is going to be one LONG summer. And the kids have been asking to go to the library. It's the last thing I want to do. But I should probably buck up and do it. Then I can spend the next three weeks worrying about lost library books and whether or not Brendan has torn the pages out. Better stock up on scotch tape.