Two eyes are good...

Four eyes are (MUCH) better!!!

Looking for a decent boarding pre-school...

How can something this cute make me want to move to run away, check myself into a psychiatric facility where shock therapy is still the go-to treatment?

 

Good thing he is so darn CUTE!!!

"But EVERYONE has one."...(oh, and a soap-box..)

Alexander and Matthew are just finishing up their second week of Middle School and every day that they come home, the FIRST thing out of their mouths is, "Mom, we NEED a cell-phone...EVERYONE has one.!!!!" (I know, we have all said it before,...I think mine was a pair of GUESS jeans).

It seems today that it's not just the newest Diego bubble blower, or Barbie, or Spiderman figure they want, but more serious things...phones, i-Touches, movies, video games, that I have to say NO to, and they don't understand why.

What is disappointing to me....is that for the most part, they are right!   In 6th grade, if you don't have a phone, you are one of the ONLY kids in the class who doesn't. (don't get me started on the 3rd graders in Catherine's class who have phones).

During Back to School night , I actually had to listen to the teachers explain to the PARENTS to please not text their kids during the school day..."Hi Honey, how is your day going?"..."What class are you in right  now?"  ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!.

IT'S FRUSTRATING.

IT'S MADDENING.

IT'S SHOCKING.

I could make this post all about why my kids do not NEED a cell phone at their age.  Actually, if you ask them why they NEED/WANT a phone, it has nothing to do with "making phone calls"...it's all about the TEXTING!  I could also give you good reason as to why they do not need an iTouch or a lap-top.  I want to them to learn to communicate (with ME) and others--I think all that "stuff" interrupts REAL communication and is a distraction to young kids who do not know how to balance the pull between the real world and the media world (for cyring out loud, adults get sucked into it!)   Mike and I have made our decision (at this point) that our kids will get a phone/laptop/i-something when we NEED them to have one, (along with them being able to help pay for it). Certainly not because they WANT one.

It's got me thinking...(hang on...here comes my soap-box...)

Why are parents so afraid to say "NO" to their kids? Why do most parents, particularly parents in my generation and younger, have such profound difficulty saying no to their children's every want and desire? (heck I want all that stuff too, but I CAN'T have it all!)

I think it is because as parents we don't want our kids to be uncomfortable.  I think we have a belief (myself included) that we really do not want our kids to feel any sense of discomfort.

THAT IS NOT LIFE!!!

We have this notion as parents, that when our kids don't feel distress, or discomfort or anger--particularly towards us as parents, that we are doing a good job because we are making life smooth for them.  I believe that this way of parenting does not prepare our kids for life...because life is not smooth and there are discomforts and disciplines needed to be successful. As my dad ALWAYS said...( and he was SO right)..."things are difficult under the best of circumstances"!     

Why do we tip-toe around our kids?!

What ever happened to "Because I am your MOTHER and I said so!!!"??  Why do we feel the need to "explain" everything to our kids.   

(insert DEEP BREATH here)....

I am not claiming to be an expert on parenting or to know what is best for every child/family   Geez-everyday is a new day in this house.  Alexander and Matthew are our guinea pigs and I HAVE been wrong before (shocking, I know!!).  They are my oldest, but I am trying to stay strong and hold on tight to my beliefs.
(I know...you are all saying..."oh...let's see what song she is singing in a few years).  Perhaps it will be a new tune--but not without A LOT of thought.  And, all of this...phones, i-thingies, social media stuff (ie Facebook) will be a PRIVILEGE--they will earn it, pay for it and know that all of it is a PRIVILEGE-- not a RIGHT!! 

They will also know that Mike and I will demand passwords to everything. The whole privacy thing? No. Sorry. No. What do you need privacy for if you aren't doing anything you shouldn't be? I won't abuse this no privacy rule, but I will want them to know that  feeling of us looking over their shoulders. They will know we will pick up their phones/check their emails at any time..

They will also knows that we won't hesitate for one golden moment to rip that phone away and shut that Facebook page down. (insert SMILE here!).

Post note:  I wrote this post more for ME!  Sometimes the choices I will make for my children will make me (and others) uncomfortable...along with my kids.  This post will be a reminder to me to not fret over my decisions,  to doubt myself, or give in. A reminder that I have a choice: 1. Being true to myself and my children, 2. Selling out in order to make someone feel less uncomfortable.

Putting it that way, it sounds like an easy decision right?

I don't think I'll ever turn the tide but I think I need to be true enough to myself and my family... even if it means I sometimes make some people and my kids a little uncomfortable.

Ugh! Here I am again making lunches...

Lunches. I hate making lunches. I hate packing lunch boxes. I hate emptying lunch boxes, I hate making sandwiches that may or may not get eaten, I hate finding little lids to all the little tiny boxes and then washing out the little lids and the little tiny boxes at the end of the day. I hate feeling guilty about the little individually packaged, over priced drinks and yogurts and puddings. I hate packaging my own drinks and yogurts and puddings. I hate that I haven’t figured out a way to make this my kids’ job, and not mine.

You see, I have fantasies that I have my children’s lunches packed in advance, with healthy foods and in earth friendly packages and they love them and eat them.

I always start out the year strong. My new idea this year is to stock pile pre-made sandwiches in the freezer each week.  For the most part, my kids eat PB & J everyday (boring, but easy, cheap and if it's on wheat bread, it's healthy, Right?!).  I try my best to include one “protein.” one treat. one fruit. one drink.

I admire my friends who seem to have this under control...packing them up the night before.  You see, not in this house.  The last thing I want to do at night, after making dinner is make lunches for the next day.  I know, I just need to get over it, just suck it up? And, NO, I am not pawning this chore off onto my kids.  That just would make me even crazier!  I am just venting because I am not looking forward to the approximate 900 lunches that I will be putting together between now and June (Mike's included)!

So,  for now, here I stand, at the kitchen counter hoping that my kids will still like peanut butter and jelly on wheat!.

Andrew's First Day of Kindergarten...

 

Tears?

Well, a few....

I've never really been one to cry or shed tears on the first day of kindergarten for any of my kids. 

With Alexander and Matthew,

I will admit I had a "lump in my throat",

 but I knew they were SO ready start school

(as they were almost 6 yrds old)

When Catherine started Kindergarten,

I was doing the "happy dance". 

 She was also almost 6 years old and very ready. 

What made her kindergarten year different than Alexander and Matthew's is that I had an almost 2 yr old (Andrew) and a 1 week old newborn (Brendan). 

 I NEEDED for her to be in school a few hours a day!!! 

 I don't remember any tears being shed that day--unless they were completely hormone/post pregnancy related. 

 They had NOTHING to do with my girl starting school! 

FAST FORWARD to August 10, 2010...

I was a MESS!!

Yes,

 meaning...a crying fool!!

WHY?

I mean, geez. it's child #4 doing this whole "first day of kindergarten thing"!

Was it apprehension at the thought of yet another child--the second to last of our little ones leaving the nest and going off to school?

Um, no.

The realization that there would be only one more toddler at home?

 I don’t wasn't too sad about that either

  You know what is was?

It took me a while to figure it out!

It had NOTHING to do with Andrew.

The tears...

The bawling (shhh, don't tell)..

My emotions...

were all about...

Alexander and Matthew!!

My MIDDLE SCHOOLERS!!!

Earlier in the day, I dropped my babies off at their new school.

A school that is as new to me as it is to them.

MIDDLE SCHOOL!!

How the heck did that happen???

As I stood there in Andrew's Kindergarten class,

watching him sit on the same carpet square that Alexander and Matthew sat on

just yesterday...

ummm, well, 6 years ago...

I LOST IT!!

My first born babies were suddenly so grown up.

It got to me...

I couldn't stop the tears.

I think all the parents around me and the teacher thought that my emotions were just another mom, shedding a tear for her baby who was going off to kindergarten.

No-not so much

(really, I am still doing the happy dance that Andrew is in school)

My tears...

My emotions....

The end of babyhood…

OKAY, so maybe I’m being a little dramatic,

but you really notice your babies growing up when you see them put on that backpack and head off into the world of middle school ,

(the same could be said about my kindergartner).

 Suddenly, my boys no longer my babies anymore...

hopped out of the car and gave me a quick "bye-mom"!!

GULP!!

There I was watching the transformation take place right before my eyes.

 My babies were officialy growing up!  

I have to pause here…

after days of thinking I was going to lose it on the big middle school drop off morning,

I didn’t!

I think the morning was so hectic that I quite simply didn’t have time to cry.

HOWEVER, the tears arrived!!!..

Just  3 1/2 hours later...

when I dropped Andrew off...

and his teacher invited all the parents into the class to listen to a story...

"The Kissing Hand"

THE TEARS ARRIVED..!!!

...a few hours late!

Sitting here blogging about the day and finally taking the time to reflect, I’m suddenly overcome by emotion. I’m not sure where the tears came from—probably the same place they did on A and M's one year birthday.  I reflected on their rough premature start.  Remembering seeing them intubated and fighting for their lives. 

 Remembering the first day I was FINALLY able to hold them in my arms.

 And of course, the day I was finally able to bring them HOME!

The tears...

 They probably came  from the same place they did the first day of pre-school...

 the first time they really put on a backpack and I took them to school.

It all came from my torn aching heart,

 where I want to see my children grow and flourish,

 but feels a teeny, tiny loss for the time that’s passed so quickly.

So, I can't believe it?

Where did the time go???

They are just in middle school..

I know I still have many more school years ahead...

but,

 you blink and they're grown!

Motherhood is truly full of milestones and emotional moments every single step of the way

regardless of our child's age.

That's what makes being a mom so incredibly special!

I wish all my kiddos at GREAT school year...

Alexander and Matthew in 6th,

Catherine in 3rd,

Andrew in Kindergarten,

and

Brendan in pre-school
and I wish myself
the grace and strength to deal with all the emotions and changes ahead.

A book review--kind of....

For the past week (or so), I've had my face stuffed in The Help by Kathryn Stockett....

Have you read it?

I loved it.

I don't read a lot..actually, I don't read as much as I would really like to.  I find that the only quiet time that I have to read is at night, in bed.  Usually by the time I hit the bed, I can' barely keep my eyes open long enough to read.  However, admittedly I'm the kind of person, who, when engrossed in a book,  will walk around the house reading, cook dinner reading, blow dry my hair (yes!) reading, "mmhmmm" to my children and husband while reading (and not listening). It was bad this week with my face stuffed in this book (464 pages read in just a dew days), but it was good!.

Maybe it's your style -- check it out. I won't write a review -- I'm not very good at it -- but I will say it reveals so much about women, good and bad, endearing and shameful, heartbreaking and joyful.  This book has stirred some very strong emotions in me, it's made me stop and think and it's made me aware of the hardships that so many had to endure. I can’t believe such a world existed . . . and that it was only 40 years ago!!

I LOVED IT!  Anyone want to borrow my copy?

And So It Begins Again...

First day of school--August 10, 2010

I always have mixed emotions on the first day of school.  I am sad that our "lazy days" of summer are over and it's back to the grind.  But, I am also a little bit relieved to be able to pick up the house, buy groceries, and get organized with only one child in tow, instead of five.  Plus, there is some comfort in getting back into a routine.

AND

I LOVE this FIRST DAY of SCHOOL!!!

Why, you ask?

No one sleeps in,

No one complains,

Everyone is organized,

Everyone showers,

Everyone prepares,

It's like Christmas morning!!

Matthew and Alexander

11 (almost 12 yrs. old)

6th grade

Silverado Middle School

Catherine

8 (almost 9 yrs. old)

3rd Grade

Heritage Oak

Mrs. Moersfelter

Andrew

4 (almost 5) yrs. old

1/2 day PM Kindergarten
Heritage Oak

Mrs. Hansen

So, now it is just me and my little guy...the last straggler.

you know... to do puzzles together, read books, make art projects, go to the park, practice our math facts, sing songs, write poetry....

OK, really he's watching Dora the Explorer right now. Let's hope that isn't indicative of our year together!

Look who is riding a 2-wheeler....

He has always wanted to do exactly what his older brothers and sister do! He didn't even have to "learn". We took the training wheels off and away he went!

GO BRENDAN GO!!

A Birthday Interview with Brendan, Age 3

Brendan, I know you've been looking forward to your third birthday for some time. Tell me, how does it feel to finally be THREE?

Oh, it's just great. It's so cool. I can do so many things!

That's true, Brendan. Why don't you tell us about some of your favorite things to do?

Oh, well, I don't know where to begin!

I sure have been talking a lot lately! I know you like that, too, Mom, since you can actually understand what I want sometimes and I can tell you in almost complete sentences. Especially "no". That's been a lot of fun!

Oh, and of course I should mention how awesome I am at climbing. Mom, I know how impressed you are every time I slide one of the kitchen chairs around in order to climb up onto the counters and get into the high cabinets and get into the snacks and dishes. Oh, you play it cool, but I can tell you're impressed. Isn't that why you put me down and move the chair back to the table? So you can watch me do it over and over again?

And playing outside! There is so much to explore and discover! I can't get enough of being outside! And I know you're bigger and stronger than I am, Mom, but I'm fast, aren't I? I love to run just as fast as my little legs will carry me as soon as I hear the words "time to come inside" And the look on your face, Mom, as you're running behind me just makes me giggle uncontrollably! It's worth the struggle that ensues when you must pick me up and carry me indoors. But, I'm nothing if not tenacious. I will continue to kick and scream and fight you every single time, on the off chance that you might actually give in to my tantrum and let me stay outside for just a few minutes longer.

I LOVE to sing and I know songs that my big brothers would NEVER have known at my age! 
I LOVE baseball and have a great "catchers stance" and my throw ain't too bad either!
I CAN ride my Red Rocket Bike like a pro (with training wheels), but give me another month and I will be riding a 2 wheeler!
I LOVE all sports-especially the ones that my big brothers love.
My big brother Andrew is my favorite (shh, don't tell anyone) and my sister is pretty awesome too (although one of these days I am hoping to turn into her "real" baby brother and not her "play" baby. 
I LOVE to be put to bed with my Mom or Dad rubbing my belly!

I AM very independent. I want to do everything by myself.

Being three is wonderful!

It sure is. Can you tell our readers how you celebrated your 3rd birthday, Brendan?

Oh, it was an intimate affair at my Nana and Pop's Pine Mountain Lake house. I spent the day with my family and my grandparents! We went for a long walk in the morning and saw lots of deer and spent the afternoon swimming at the pool.  Of course, we had my favorite, ICE CREAM CAKE (well, the favorite of my big brothers and sister, so that's what Mom got. And presents! Well, not too many of those.  My Mom thinks that I have enough clothes and toys--I mean I do have 4 older siblings, which means lots of hand me downs.  I am OK with that now, but I am not sure if she will be able to get away with that rationale for too many more birthdays.

Mom, you look kind of tired. Are you feeling alright?

Well, aside from this "virus" that has been going through the family, I'm fine, thank you. You're such a sweet boy. Besides me, of course, who are some of your favorite people?

Oh, I love my Nana and Pop, and Daddy, of course. Titi and Uncle Sonny are awesome. And all my cousins.  They're all so much fun. Even my big brothers and sister have their moments. I love all my east coast relatives that spoil me rotten, Gram, Aunt Barbara, Uncle Tim, Aunt Susan and Uncle Ducky-along with Uncle Bill and Auntie Carolyn.

Don't misunderstand, though. I'm crazy about just anyone. I make eye contact with everyone and anyone who will look my way.  I flash my big baby blues and smile!  It's all over from there...my dimple and my beautiful smile makes me friends immediately!

Can you tell us a little about mealtime for a three-year-old?


Oh, FOOD-well my mom tell me that I take after my big brothers.  I love to eat!


When I'm not seeking thrills by perching precariously on the edge of my stool ( I get a stool cuz  I am child #5 and my parents kitchen table only seats six--do you think I was a "surprise"?) I love yogurt! I enjoy the typical fare: grapes, chicken nuggets, spaghetti... But, I must say, Mom, I wish you'd stop wasting your time serving me those vegetables. How many green beans do I have to throw on the floor to make you understand that I refuse to eat them? And don't think you're fooling anyone with that broccoli mixed in with my pasta business. I only eat it because I feel sorry for you.

Well, I appreciate the gesture, Brendan.

You're welcome.

Look, are we almost done here? I've got things to do.  As great as this weekend in Pine Mountain Lake has been, I am tired.  Your brothers and Dad have been fighting a virus and I would just like to end this interview and get you and everyone else to bed so I can settle in to some really good trash TV and watch my Bachelor--ALONE!!!!

So, let me end by saying how much we love you!  You have brought so much happiness to our world.  You make us laugh, smile and count our blessings on a daily basis. You make us laugh and you remind us to enjoy life.  You make us appreciate the surprises in life and make each day better because you are a part of our family!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LITTLE B-WE LOVE YOU!

(Okay, so I embellished Brendan's answers just a bit. I'm pretty sure this is what he meant and, anyway, it was taking way too long to type out his responses phonetically.)