Treading Water

I've been feeling a bit glum lately. Really, it is very shallow. It is about the state of my house. I can resign myself to dirt and chaos for a limited time; but it still gets to me and then I hit my breaking point!! For a variety of reasons, things are not where I want them to be. As a family we are trying to adjust to a new school year, new sports schedules, Mike working longer hours, his coaching and our other responsibilities. All of this causes upheaval.

My house needs major cleaning.I don't know what it is but I can just barely stay on top of the most basic maintenance: laundry, cooking, dishes, keeping a semblance of clean in the kitchen and dining areas, vacuuming the carpets, keeping the toy chaos from overwhelming everything. Anything more has mostly been beyond my grasp. I don’t like living this way – trying to maintain a sense of order in the midst of circumstances I just can’t seem to control. I hate feeling that I am out of control with all of the details of life..

To add to this feeling, Brendan has been SO difficult this week. He's such a sweet, happy fellow, but this week....I'll tell you...I don't know if it's his cold, or the kids being gone at school, or just a new little stage, but he wants ME almost every minute. He's 34 pounds and it's not easy lugging this kid around.

If he happens to be settled and busy it just means he's up to no good. He'll find a pen or a pencil laying around-my walls, his canvas...or he stands on his tippy toes and fishes one out of the drawer and just writes everywhere before I even get a chance to stop him.

He's hurt me, physically, 10 times this week. Slammed a door shut on my ankle, given me serious love bites, head butted me in the nose (the kind that makes you check for a break or blood!), all on accident of course.

He's smooshed my lipstick, dumped bags of cereal and goldfish when given a second. Crinkled my new magazine, ran his stroller into my ankles. He's been using the shelves in the refrigerator as his jungle-gym.

When we went on walks, they were as far from enjoyable as you could get. Refused to sit in the stroller, down every one's driveway, in the street constantly, in and out of the stroller every minute, mad as heck when he didn't get his way and we headed home.

Tons of whining. Tons. Do you get the picture? Tested every ounce of my patience. So much so that here I am...my turn to whine!!

Here's to Friday!! Hoping it's a better weekend and next week will be a fresh start!

P.S. I am going to Babies-R- Us to get myself a lock for the refridgerator door! They've got to make one of them...right?!