This "friend" worked, and her kids were in daycare and/or grandparent's houses. This friend ALSO lived in a brand new expensive house, drove a new car and had "nice" stuff. Meaning "stuff" that wasn't just the stuff you accumulate "pre-baby", and could not afford "post-baby".
As I was driving out of the grocery store parking lot I began to think about a few things...
The word "LUCK" that she used was used in the wrong context here.
Here's luck:
(in no particular order)
Winning the lottery.
Having a long lost relative leave you a million dollars.
Finding and marrying the love of your life.
Having enough disposable income to pay for a housekeeper and "babysitter" so you can go do something to remind yourself of who you used to be before kids.
Finding the perfect pair of jeans at 70% off.
Finding a $20 bill in the laundry after a long day of feeling like you have no $$.
Finding the perfect pair of jeans at 70% off.
Finding a $20 bill in the laundry after a long day of feeling like you have no $$.
Here's NOT luck:
Choosing to forgo the new house, the new clothes, the new car.
Choosing to wear OLD clothes, shop at Wal-mart and on Craiglslist for the kids (and me) instead of some to-die-for-cute kid's clothing store or trendy mall store, letting go of a social life that costs too much, throwing that Pottery Barn mag in the garbage instead of letting it make you feel sorry for yourself, centering your head so that you DON'T let the feelings of envy when seeing friends your age get those new clothes, new houses, new cars, fancy vacations get you down, trusting one day that hard work will pay off,
AND MAKING THE CHOICE, THE SACRIFICE,
that above all else,
YOU will be the one who,
on a daily basis:
Choosing to wear OLD clothes, shop at Wal-mart and on Craiglslist for the kids (and me) instead of some to-die-for-cute kid's clothing store or trendy mall store, letting go of a social life that costs too much, throwing that Pottery Barn mag in the garbage instead of letting it make you feel sorry for yourself, centering your head so that you DON'T let the feelings of envy when seeing friends your age get those new clothes, new houses, new cars, fancy vacations get you down, trusting one day that hard work will pay off,
AND MAKING THE CHOICE, THE SACRIFICE,
that above all else,
YOU will be the one who,
on a daily basis:
Wipes your child's bottom 10 times a day or sits in the smelly bathroom with them while they are learning to poop in the potty.
Takes a the kids to the park (AGAIN) and pushes them on the swings (AGAIN) in all kinds of weather,,just to keep them active and engaged.
Smiles with LOVE IN YOUR EYES at them all day long (well, on the good days).
Cleans the floors they crawl on.
Makes sure their bath water is just right.
Plays blocks or trains or reads their favorite book 100 times a day.
Understands that "ba dood wan lye" means "I have a boo-boo on my foot".
Knows that staying up 5 minutes past naptime = major break down.
Smooches their neck rolls.
Loves the smell of their neck rolls.
SOMETIMES THAT ALSO MEANS:
Not feeling "fulfilled" or that you are "living up to your real potential or earned degree".
Being bored out of your stinkin' mind.
Feeling lonely.
Feeling envious.
Feeling like you might never "catch up" with the your peer group.
Struggling with trying to curtail the envy of keeping up with the Joneses!
Letting go of that "happy-go-lucky" feeling of having more than enough money, and adopting that "we have to watch every cent" feeling that adds a little stress to your marriage.
Letting go of that "happy-go-lucky" feeling of having more than enough money, and adopting that "we have to watch every cent" feeling that adds a little stress to your marriage.
To me, it's been worth it a million times over.
Just a little P.S.:
I'm a "blessed" to be a SAHM, not lucky. Just blessed. The choices we make define us. I wouldn't be the person I am today if I hadn't stayed home and changed every diaper and and kissed every little boo boo. However, I know that it doesn't make me mother of the year either. I realize that for some mothers, even with incredible sacrifice, certain circumstances dictate they must be away from home, although they yearn for the opposite. I also know that many mothers have worked out creative scenarios to be able to be at home the majority of the time, and still bring in some income just to "get by"...we are good at this, aren't we?
I do want to clarify that although the "lucky" comment provoked this post, I do believe that every good parent makes sacrifices- both the working and the stay at home.
