In her words:
"Five seems so much bigger than four (the minivan won't cut it anymore) and it feels like we have definitely moved into the "LARGE FAMILY" bracket....with no one else I know having above four. Will we ever get invited anywhere again!?!?
Now, I would argue that no matter how many children you have (even if you have none), adding just one to the mix of your current family can seem a daunting task. I remember I had the most trouble adjusting to the first child, oh I mean children...(well, the news of twins was quite a surprise)
But I do remember feeling as my friend does, particularly by the time I got to the fifth: I could "feel" people's eyes on us - watching us like a circus - counting: one, two, three, four...FIVE? Imagining what they might be saying, "Are they all hers?" Or, "Aren't there already enough children in the world?" Or, when one slipped by without the "fashion check" at the door: "See, she can't even dress them properly!"
I got used to the shocked silence and snide comments when I told others our news (people can be so unthinking and rude). Are you going to have any more? Or, Don't you know what causes this? Mostly, though, people seemed to feel sorry for me: "Oh, wow. Five. Sheesh, girlfriend!"
This didn't help. I already had lots of fears about how I would manage. I can't even get the laundry done with four. Getting out of the house takes me two hours as it is. How will I ever do it with five? I struggled, wondering how we would stretch a single paycheck to feed, clothe, and care for another little person, who would grow into a big person needing braces and a college education some day. I worried about my parenting. My patience is stretched already. How on earth will I be able to love and nurture another little person?
Thankfully God thought somehow, I - flawed, inadequate and unlikely - was chosen to be a mother of 5!
Now, 2 1/2 years later, I handle the comments about our family's size with a smile. I am resigned to the fact that money will always be tight for us. That getting us all out of the house is still something that I am not good at. I still struggle with patience, laundry, and disorganization. I agonize over every parenting decision.
But when I look at sweet Brendan - the ray of sunshine that he is -most of the time- I'm not looking at all that. Honestly, I just can't imagine how anyone could possibly feel sorry for me.
I am abundantly, overwhelmingly, and resoundingly blessed.
Now I have to go...laundry awaits!!
