I have 238 friends. On Facebook, that is. In real life...hmm, well, I'm kinda scratching my head and wondering where all my real-life flesh-and-blood friends went. I know, everybody's BUSY with their families, their jobs, their busy, complicated, over-extended lives. Everyone's apologizing for why they can't get together and making promises about future engagements we MUST plan -- and secretly know we never will. And I am the biggest offender!!
Part of the problem is that many of my friends (high school and college friends) just don't live nearby. So it takes time and monumental effort to synchronize our various schedules. Another problem is that many of my friends work or are home caring for young children. In addition, I find it had to make new friends with woman who I truly have things in common with..not just our kids. I KNOW, you have to work at friendships in order to maintain them, and I am already stretched thin. How sad, it's almost as if I have become a person too busy for deep, meaningful, close friendships.
Part of the problem is that many of my friends (high school and college friends) just don't live nearby. So it takes time and monumental effort to synchronize our various schedules. Another problem is that many of my friends work or are home caring for young children. In addition, I find it had to make new friends with woman who I truly have things in common with..not just our kids. I KNOW, you have to work at friendships in order to maintain them, and I am already stretched thin. How sad, it's almost as if I have become a person too busy for deep, meaningful, close friendships.
I've been thinking about friendship a lot lately, thanks not only to Facebook, but also, the fact that I just don't seem to have the "group" of friends that I thought I would at this point in my life. I often think about how great it would be to have a "group" of friends that would offer long-lasting friendships. When I see woman that have this, I am often wonder to myself...what's their secret?
It's simple. They make time for one another.
It has become evident to me -- especially as I age -- friendships are extremely important to my mental, physical, and emotional well-being. And I've realized that I've been lazy in my friendships. I've taken them for granted and assumed that my friends were going to be there for me no matter how many times I've blown them off or made excuses for skipping a get together. Unfortunately, too many years and too much distance has diluted my old friendships. Maybe it's nobody's fault really. Maybe that's just what happens in life.
It's not that I don't have friends in real life -- I do. But how many friends does one need in a lifetime? Is one enough? How about two? An even dozen? Certainly 238 friends in real life would be way too much to manage. Could you imagine the postage just for Christmas cards? And I don't think I'm necessarily looking for a ton of REAL FRIENDS. But I am looking for friendship that is easy, comfortable, honest, authentic, and fun. Friendship shouldn't be a burden.
Which is why I love my Facebook friends. They are fascinating people -- open to friendship and willing to invite me into their lives. They offer words of encouragement and make me laugh on so many occasions. We share interests and struggles about so many things. We even find the mundane details of life amusing. They fill a void in my hectic, busy life -- allowing me to connect to people all over the world from the comfort of my home.
But perhaps it's time to go outside my comfort zone and find new friends the good-old-fashioned way. Not that it's going to be easy. I suspect I'm like a lot of people who excel at making virtual friends...I worry that people won't find me nearly as fascinating in real life as they do online. (unless your like my friend with 700+ FB friends..you know who you are--lol!).
The plain truth is that I need more than just virtual friends. I want flesh-and-blood friends who are there for me; just as I want to be there for them.
Guess it's time for me to step out of the "blog world" into the "real-world"!!
(yes, Laurie...I KNOW, I should come to your Friday get-togethers!!!
