Sorry for the ugly "I Don't Want to be a Mom" post the other day. Like I knew, the feeling has passed (for he most part) and I have found some clarity in all the chaos. After I post thoughts like that, I sometimes wonder why I choose to articulate my feelings for so many people to read. I'm learning and realizing that some things may be better left unsaid (or un-written).
At that moment I was in a state of burn-out and exhaustion--all of it entirely of my own making. I don't need much, but when I don't any alone time, watch out! I realized that I need to give myself a break. This has been a CRAZY spring so far, and thrown into that a family vacation, (which we all know wasn't really a "vacation" in the true sense of the word), and I was tapped out completely. I started thinking that I hadn't spent more than 15 minutes by myself for I can't remember how long. That doesn't cut it. I also have really been feeling unsettled about some other issues and decisions in my life and felt really icky with all that swimming in my tired brain.
Anyways, Mike is back from his trip and I was able to talk through some things that had been weighing me down (mainly lots of "honey-do's"). I also worked out in the yard on Saturday and Sunday and it felt nice to get some things done and feel some satisfaction and accomplishment.
So, that's it. I am really fine...REALLY!
