Maybe it's because Mike is out of town, maybe it is because I am disappointed that I was not able to celebrate my girlfriends 40th birthday last night, maybe it's because I had to share my bed with THREE kids and I finally gave up on a good nights sleep at 4:45 am this morning and now my patience is threadbare before all of the kids have finished breakfast—-but without sounding desperate...I don't want to be a mom today!
I guess, really, I just don't want to be needed. My nerves are shot. I don't want to deal with all the responsibility today. The ringing phone,the laundry, the yard work, a clingy 20 month old, Andrew whining, the big kids complaining. The "Mom, what's for breakfast!" "Mom, he's hitting me", "Mom, Andrew is biting", "Mooooooom! The boys are not letting me play the Wii!""Mom! What's for lunch?""Mom, can you put batteries in this for me?" "Mom...Mom....Mom....Mom....MOOOOOOOOMMMM!!! Why are you in the bathroom?" How many times can I say, "Don't jump on the furniture". " "Stop making those noises." "Don't talk to your sister like that!" "It's not time for lunch yet so quit asking." "Put down the seat after you use the bathroom!" "That is not an inside toy!" "Shhhh Brendan is sleeping!" "Flush the toilet after you use it!"
Can I be honest here?. I do not have a free second during the day. I can't even shower alone. And dare I say, I am becoming slightly resentful of my husband. He gets out of the house every day. He talks to people about things other then children. He can still carry on an intelligent conversation that doesn't center around diapers , Tylenol dosages and Wow, Wow ,Wubbsy. Don't get me wrong, I am very passionate about being a Mom and my children in general. I know God's plan is for me to raise these kids. I'm just having a moment...bare with me!!
In my heart of hearts, I know that I am supposed to be a mother. Really, I know that’s it's true. I know that this is what I’m supposed to do, and I’ve always known it! Even though I often struggle with my kids all day and have my list of above complaints—I still marvel at the perfect little people they are growing into... intelligent, sweet, forgiving children!
Like I said...I am just having a moment! "This to shall pass"!!!!
