It struck me how very much in the middle I am right now. Yes, I am a mother of five and two of them are "little". I’m sure I love them as much as all those other ladies do. I have the same responsibilities as they do, to feed, care for and train my small kids. When I go to the park, I am right there watching to make sure no one falls off a swing or takes a tumble from a high part of the climbing structure, just as these mothers are.
But my 2 yr old and 4 yr old are not the center of the family schedule anymore. Their needs do not drive all the activities of the family (except when potty training,of course). In fact, many of their needs...well, mainly Brendan's (say, naps, for example) go completely by the wayside with all the activities of the older kids.
Does this make them any less important? Of course not. They add a dimension of joy and (and chaos!) to virtually every interaction in this family. But their "toddler/pre-school years" are a far cry from the calm, structured existence our older three children experienced. Andrew and Brendan go with the flow, because they have to.
Some of the mom's of Andrew and Brendan's friends just don’t understand how I could let my pre-schooler stay up so late or (gasp!) have less-than-perfect nutrition, or have them at the baseball field at 9pm (you'll find me there tonight). But yes, I have older children. Let me tell you, there are precious few of my older kids friends that have siblings in diapers. Very few of Catherine's friends (8 yrs. old) that even have younger brothers or sisters.
So where do I fit in?
Preschool mom?
Almost middle-years mom?
Tween Mom?
(Shhhh. I know what you're thinking: CRAZY mom!).
Right now I find myself somewhere between diapers, pre-school parties and trying to keep up with the school work and activities for my 3 older ones.
We don't think a thing of it at home, but I’ve been told that we could have “planned” a little better and had our kids closer together (oh, the things that people think are their business!).
That might have made it easier. Easier to lump my children into a nice neat group that would make my social life so much more convenient.
I was always one of those group-floaters as a teenager. Never really part of the "in" crowd but never part of the "out" crowd, either. I figured that was part of growing up.
But maybe this is my lot in life: this messiness, this social in-between-ness. I'm learning to be okay with it.
Maybe I'm growing up, too...(it's about time, I am "almost 40!).
