At the risk of seeming like an ego-maniac, or as if I may have some kind of panic disorder, I'll admit that I wonder, quite frequently... What would happen to my family without me? It's probably a question that many moms have asked themselves in exasperation since the creation of soccer shin pads, lunch-boxes and Barbie shoes. But I think about it often and wonder. It's not a pleasant thing to think about, but I can't help it.
What if something horrible happened to me? How would my household be run? How would my children be raised? Who would dress them appropriately for the weather in clean clothes that fit properly? Who would put hair in pony-tails and polish tiny toenails? Would the children eat balanced diets? Would chicken nuggets and chips be served for every meal? Who would schedule play-dates and plan birthday parties? Would the children get enough sleep? Would they watch too much TV...(Cops specifically)? Who would sing silly songs and help with homework and organize closets and dresser drawers? Who could keep track of them at the park or at Chuck E Cheese? Would they still GO to the park or to Chuck E Cheese? Who would do the potty-training? Who would teach them their prayers? Who would lay in bed and rub their backs til they fell asleep? Would they be okay? Would they know that I loved them? Who would find the soccer shin pads?
I don't know if it's normal to think of these things. The anxiety these questions cause me is not overwhelming, but it's always there, in the back of my mind. Behind grocery shopping and birthday parties, homework help, laundry and bedtime kisses.
